So it’s been a year since my cancer re-diagnosis..


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So it’s been a year since my stage 4 re diagnosis..it has been a roller coaster ride of emotions for me..in Nov 2014 it will be 2 yrs from my original diagnosis..it is true that going through a cancer diagnosis is similar to grieving,,I went thru all the stages..Denial..this couldn’t be happening to me.,cancer doesn’t run in my family..to Depression..not sleeping at all without the help of medication..for several months..when I did sleep waking up with the same dread..like I have to make an appointment or DO something about my cancer..which I always stayed proactive.,just in my OWN way..NOT WHAT EVERYONE ELSE WANTED ME TO DO..or I would be sitting here with my right breast ONLY..that would have been the only surgery I approved.,I had no desire to put plastic or foreign objects into my body to later on cause more harm..later on I find out that surgery would have caused the cancer to spread ..BEST DECISION..now I am in ACCEPTANCE..took me quite awhile..it was like one day..I had an aha ..yes I didn’t do it alone,,FB was my sanctuary and sometimes my rival..people loyal to medical procedures scolded me,,and people loyal to natural ways scolded me,,I couldn’t win..but alas has been my life..always the girl no one liked.,and I am sure secretly there were some that when they heard I had cancer..silently cheered..awful right…or they thought who cares..I never liked her anyways..ahh well regardless.,
I have read many books,,watched many you tube videos..from both sides..yes I still see my oncologist faithfully..and I still take my medication daily,,and get my Herceptin infusion every 3 weeks..
Will I ever fit neatly into a box..probably not,,even in the cancer world I don’t fit.,because I didn’t have surgery..chemo or rads..I CHOSE NOT TO..I FOLLOWED MY HEART..

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