3 am thoughts..with tears running down my face..


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Happy Father’s Day in Heaven Daddy..I miss you..! As I type with tears running down my face at 3:25 in the morning..And how ironic to write out my feelings..Because you were a writer..and I believe that was one of the gifts that you gave me..My father was an editor for the Wall Street Journal for many years..He started his own newspaper..He also dealt with bipolar all of my adult life until his passing in 2004..

Wow ..has it really been 10 yrs..No..we didn’t always have the best relationship, but if he was alive today..I could hear his voice and things he would say..some wise ..some just his way..he didn’t always have it easy ..he lost his mother to suicide when she was in her 50s..Due to this awful event..He didn’t get to go to college..and this makes him even stronger than I would have ever been..He still was able to get wonderful jobs at newspapers..leading up to the Wall Street Journal..Yes without a college degree..Something that would be virtually IMPOSSIBLE in this time and age..That man use to drive to NYC..take the path train from Hoboken..to I believe where the Twin Towers stood..he did this for gosh 20 yrs..In between he was on disability for his manic depression..back then they didn’t call it bipolar..And quite honestly growing up..I liked him better when he was in the manic state..But I heard that is common of people living with bipolar and family members affected by it..No he didn’t do outrageous things like travel on expensive trips.or have affairs like some of the famous people like Margot Kidder and Patty Duke..

Miss you dad..Mom dreamt of you last night..Hopefully you are watching over us..Hope so because I really can use an angel in heaven about NOW!

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