Random thoughts..


Random thoughts inspired by watching Jennifer Hudson on OWN..Oprah asked her if she was sexier at size 6 than she was at size 16 and she said she was cute even at size 16..So my question is if no one told you how to be , would you be so hard on yourself?

Look I am overweight..I am 5 2 and 1/2 and I weigh my all time highest weight 225 and I am 45.. I also have stage 4 breast cancer and yes the meds I am on can cause weight gain,,is that why I am so heavy? Perhaps! If I lived a Alaska or somewhere where I hardly saw anyone,,and didn’t watch tv or go on the Internet and had no one to compare to would I be so terrible? Yes..for my health I should lose weight..But if my weight was acceptable to the world would it bother me? not sure..

When I was a child I always thought I was cute..family would tell me I was..until I started school.,kids would tease me..I didn’t understand or know how to fight back because I guess naturally I didn’t fit in..so I was always different or weird or whatever.,and as I got older I was still told what I was ..usually it wasn’t flattering..and the funny thing was I didn’t have a weight problem until I was about 15..

To this day I am still more comfortable by myself and prefer the company of animals over people..some days I am comfortable in my own skin and some days I am not..some days I want to be around people and some days I don’t..

I liked what Nicole Richie said about tabloids and her weight..She said she can’t control what others say or do..so instead of giving that energy..She just leaves it alone..And this is true for everyone..Bottom line is you have to be happy with yourself..fat or thin..warts or not..people will love you and they will hate you..the only thing you can control is the way you choose to handle the situation..

I use to get angry at the world for treating me this way or that way..I still do sometimes..I have been thin.,and now I am currently at my heaviest..when I lose the weight ….will I get people commenting on my weight loss ?…of course..it has happened so many times..the world prefers thinner people..but if you are too thin than you are anorexic..so you need to please you…


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