Be perfectly imperfect ..Be you..


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So it is no secret..I have cancer…I didn’t do surgery or radiate it or poison it out of me,..and yes I still have cancer..But I did learn that if I did cut it out it would have spread..And so far the oncologist is helping me keep it at bay.

I also found prayer helps me a lot..I am a firm believer in God and the angels.,So I pray any where and every where…I pray silently and out loud..I pray in my car while driving..while walking dogs.,while scooping litter boxes..

The past few days have been very rough for me..I take medications to block the estrogen feeding my cancer..The latest medication made me feel like I wanted to crawl out of my skin, made me anxious, sick to my stomach..I couldn’t focus or concentrate and felt confused..So I contacted the oncology emergency line to get permission to stop..I was told to stop it for a few days if I would like..And call my doctor on Monday..So I will do this .,and I do feel some what better…

So yesterday I was praying praying praying..I prayed for God to use me in a positive way..I have always wondered my purpose..I know it is more than to be made fun of or be a joke..I have worked with animals and loved animals all my life..They were my companions and still are..They love unconditionally..regardless of how I look..fat..thin..good hair day..bad hair day..good mood day..bad mood day..that maybe caused by medications..

I also learn to listen..What I mean by to listen ..is to listen to that small voice.,almost like ours..like a whisper or thought..What I heard yesterday was..”Be who you are..be you”. And I heard..”Be perfectly imperfect” You see..I was struggling with my thoughts yesterday..I didn’t take the medication for my cancer..and I was very tired..But I had some pet sitting to do..So I had to push myself..push thru the sluggishness..push thru the negative thoughts..I prayed for God to use me in a positive way..

I had 6 visits yesterday..Most were dog walks..and summer is still hanging on.,and I just can’t tolerate the heat..For one since I am the heaviest I have been and two I have never been a hot weather fan..But I pushed thru..I was heading to my last cat sitting job and chatting with my friend on the phone..My last job was out in the country..in the woods..My eyes were tired..it was about 4p..There was a car behind me on this country road..I thought it was a deer in the road..As I got closer..I saw it was a dog..Right in the middle of the road..Just standing there.,So I had my phone plugged into the cigarette lighter..on the passenger seat on speaker..and I said to my friend..there’s a dog..I am thinking should I just drive by..Let someone else get it.,Let it get hit..So I threw on my hazards..jumped out of the car ..put it in park..I said” come here doggie”..He sorta came towards me slowly..mind you ..this looked like a pit bull..They don’t have the best reputation…But I took a chance..Mind you ..I did this all quickly..Opened up the back door..got him in the car..the lady behind me waited..and I pulled into the first driveway I could find..

Now what..I can go neighbor to neighbor..So I saw he did have a dog license,,I jotted down the number..No other tags..and I was taking a chance..I could have gotten bit.,but he was so mellow..So I called 411 to get the number for the local township..of course Hopewell is in several counties and twice they gave me the wrong county..I looked up on my phone for the municipal buildings and found the number..but it was late in the day..No answer..I thought to ask the people at the farm store ..but I wasn’t sure if they were open,,so I turned around,,still sitting in their driveway..One car passed me in the driveway.,giving me a dirty look and honking the horn,,I was on a mission..Plus I couldn’t take this dog home..So I thought..Police station.,24 hours and they could look up the license..So back to calling 411 to find the owner.,This time I did get the right county and police station..The dispatcher was very helpful..the dog is a pit bull mix..named Bear..He gave me the address…I asked for a phone number , but it wasn’t in service..These houses weren’t marked well at all ..neither were the mail boxes..

So I am driving up and down in a small area..3-4 houses..looking for 85.. I knocked on 3 houses..no one was home..it was about 4:30p on a Friday..There was a realty sign in front of the one house and the house across the street had a dog tie out..wrapped around the tree with a dog feeder full of food..but that house was 86..not 85 like the dispatcher gave me..So I sat in the driveway with the realtor sign..got out of my car.,jotted down that number.,And called Allison..She was also very helpful..She told me the owner lived with her son in another town.,and the dog belonged to the daughter in law across the street..l asked for a number and was able to get the owner of 85 on the phone,,Geez I am stubborn,,They didn’t answer the first time.,so I called back and just started talking into the machine ..voice mail..l was hoping either a pick up or call back..Then I hear..”Hello..hang on a minute..” Virginia.,the older home owner picks up..It was her step granddaughter’s dog..I was able to get her number and the neighbors..Apparently the daughter in law travels..So once again I make more calls..to the neighbor,,,the granddaughter..Finally I see a mini van drop off a kid..I assumed this was Heather..So I cross over into their driveway..”Are you Heather..she said “What” .”Are you Heather”…””Yes”.. “well..I have your dog” ..She opens the back door and talks to Bear..Bear didn’t want to go with her..I asked her if she needed help..She said no and thanks me..

Was this the good deed I was seeking..To be used for good.,? Perhaps..Would God use a dog..? Sure..I have been a pet sitter for 20 yrs..gee ..something I could help with..I have been up and down this road many times in the past week..never seen this dog..but I was told he gets away often..I guess I was in the right place at the right time..

Be you..be who you are..Perfectly imperfect..

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