To fear or not to fear..


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Yesterday was a pretty good day,but I let my mind go wild..I only had one dog walking job and plenty of time to be with my own thoughts..So I decided to go to my mother’s house..I sat there and just talked about what was troubling me..Also I felt guilty putting all this on my mom..Not much she can do other than listen..

I mean all in all my life isn’t terrible..but it is so easy to let our minds take over..Luckily, I am not having adverse side affects from the latest injection..But my mind kept going to well now what do I do..I am on SSI..but it isn’t much,,Most couldn’t live off of this..I wasn’t eligible for regular disability..So I still do some pet sitting..I have sold a few pieces on Etsy..And if I were to work a regular job, I would either lose my SSI..or get very little..Then there is my doctor appointments..most employers wouldn’t be cool about you taking all that time off..I have trouble with my pet sitting..I use to have 4-5 dog walking jobs a day..I just can’t get that many in the area I currently live..And honestly I don’t think I can do all that anymore, plus with the appointments I have to juggle..

Also, I live with my boyfriend and his family..And I do help out with the cable/Internet /phone bill and chip in when I can.,It just is tough..plus the money problems they are having here..I could always move back to my mother’s home, but then the few pet sitting jobs I have are about a half hour away..I have a used car..so that’s a concern too..A year ago I started the pet sitting back up again.,because I wasn’t doing surgery and I needed some money to feed my animals and just keep busy..Luckily, I do have health care for now..or at least as long as I am in treatment ..I was told about 5 yrs..it has been about a year on the insurance..

So what to do..stay where I am and deal with the drama here..? Move back home with my family? Ahh.. I could use a sugar daddy about now..Yes money isn’t everything..but it sure helps especially when you have health issues..So..today is a new day..I am sitting in my bed in my boyfriend’s mother’s home watching the news..So I guess all I can do is keeping moving.,Pray..pray..pray for guidance..do what I can for as long as I can..I guess there is no easy..or escape hatch..So I will continue to do what I can and pray that God will take care of the rest..

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