of my favorite F words..

I was reading a post on Facebook from a lady also fighting Cancer..and can relate to her I type this I am sitting on hold waiting to speak to someone about my food stamps..I don’t mean to sound ungrateful..I HATE ALL OF THIS..I hate begging for help.,I hate begging to be heard.l hate being in pain from radiation..I hate feeling cornered and not feeling like I have an I sitting around just waiting to die? IF I DO THE RIGHT THING..and depend on SSI ..I am thinking of just going to get a regular job..I think I can hang on to my Medicaid..ok I just got thru to food stamps…why do they make it so the last year I have been on food stamps,,before that I always bought my own food..I have been a pet sitter for 20 yrs and did this up until about a month ago..I am sorry if this offends anyone ..the people  answering the phone  for assistance really sound ignorant..yes I wanted to get the damn phone interview done with and realized the time they gave me I may be in radiation..I was able to schedule a time next week..I wanted to tell her to shove her food stamps up her butt..I keep contemplating if I should just try to get a job,but with the dr appts..radiation.,feeling crappy..not even sure what I can do at this point..I just got done placing my fundraiser in different areas and was so thankful to get 339 dollars that was used towards car insurance and helping pay the electric bill..I am thinking about getting rid of my car..I feel like a little animal being cornered..again I don’t want to sound ungrateful..I admire the women getting radiation and are working full time..yes I am still taking my anti is working some..but pills can only do so much..I don’t care if I am on 3 different’s very frustrating trying to survive..I am grateful I have a roof over my head for now..and can move back to my mother’s ..I will be 46 in a week..I am trying to be hopeful and enjoy the little things..


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