Today is my birthday!
It is bittersweet to me..I feel like I am fighting to be here..I didn’t receive one birthday card…My mom and brother will most likely have one for me and some money, but I have to go to my mother’s home to get it..and sometimes I feel guilty for going there..like I am expecting something for being born..I did receive some messages on Facebook ,,but I do have my birthday listed..but that’s the plus to having facebook..people will wish you a happy birthday..my boyfriend wished me a happy birthday..and I told the techs in radiation it was my birthday ..Barb..one of my favorites..came up to me in the hall..said ..”Happy Birthday” and gave me a kiss on the cheek..she won’t be in today ..that was very sweet…
I was reading facebook posts from the mother of another Cancer patient that I know,,Her mother wrote all these lovely words..look at my beautiful daughter..look how incredible she is..fighting ..My mother and brother didn’t tell a soul about my Cancer..granted we have a very small family..we do have cousins..my mother didn’t even tell them..but she got a call from her one cousin asking about me because my cousin’s wife read about it on Facebook ..but haven’t heard from this cousin since,.
My mother tells me how strong I am..I guess..I use to be stronger.,I use to feel I had more value..it’s sad that we have to produce.,either another human by giving birth..go to college..get a well paying job..own a home,,a nice car..to be of some kind of worth..
I have seen videos of people who can not walk..talk..contribute anything ..but they had family that would care for them..Shouldn’t a person have value whether they can contribute or not..regardless of what they have DONE IN THIS WORLD..Yes when you read obituaries..you read about wives or husbands..children..grand children..jobs they worked at..how active they were in the community..I understand they are sharing their contribution to this world..
But what if you don’t have all that..my obituary would read..
Susan Beth Seymour
Born in Princeton,NJ
She worked all her life..She didn’t graduate college..She didn’t work for years at any job..but she had many jobs..she wasn’t loved by many..or even well liked..and many would share how much they hated her..She doesn’t have a husband..or children..or grand children..She didn’t have many friends..She wasn’t good in sports..She didn’t win awards..
What did she do……?
She made many mistakes..She had 6 abortions..She had many boyfriends..or what she thought were boyfriends..Very few who actually cared for her..because she learned she had a body and that was the only way she could get a man..
So what did she contribute to this world..will anyone remember her..probably not..But she did have a good heart..all her animals found her..and she gave them the best home that she could..She rescued a few animals off of the street and found them homes..
She wasn’t the prettiest..smartest..or added much value to this world..She did try to help people when she could..Such as.,when she was getting her 3rd abortion..she could tell her experience to others and be of some comfort..She was kind when she could be..she would hold doors open for people..she gave an elderly woman a dollar to cover her purchase when she didn’t have enough when others stood there getting mad because she held up the line at a store register ..she gave that same woman a ride home ..she’s donated food..clothing..she’s given away pet sitting jobs to other pet sitters..good jobs not just the ones she didn’t want..she’s bought things for the children of boyfriends..bought pet food for clients and didn’t always tell them to get reimbursed..took the pet sitting jobs that other pet sitters refused to do..because of the appearance of the home..or they chose to over charge instead of give them a break..she always worked with people the best she could..such as the young teacher who couldn’t afford her daily rate of 18 a visit for 5 days a week so she offered 70 a week instead of her normal 90..who cared for animals in all sorts of weather ..
She has given jewelry that she made ..taken it off of her body ,like bracelets and given them away..many times..She has given reiki sessions for free…in person and at a distance ..she has given away tumbled stones to those she gave reiki to..Last year on her birthday she gave away two sets of earrings..mailed them and paid for the shipping herself..
She has helped out where she lives..given her food stamps for the family to use..Given cash to help pay for bills when she could..When diagnosed with cancer and able to..she tried to start a support group in her town..At the local church..she made online groups for Cancer and tried to help when she could..she would donate a portion of her Cancer jewelry ..sometimes more than that and donate to other Cancer patients…ok all of this may not seem like much..but she did what she could..
If Susan has brought some love..light..or any contribution no matter how small..please comment below or on Facebook..Thank you!