This was me banging the gong at the hospital yesterday completing radiation..I received 35 radiation sessions..this was very difficult for me.,it was emotional and physical..Honestly I didn’t think I could do it..Yes..all I had to do was lay there and the techs did the work..but laying there was tough with the different stages of burning decaying skin..I fought having radiation done and had no idea what it was like..I didn’t have the option of surgery and honestly I didn’t want it..my medical oncologist recommended radiation to burn away the largest tumor that broke thru the skin..most of it is gone and I will find out in June from my pet scan how it did..
Ever since Nov 15,2012 my life has been a nightmare I can’t wake up from..some days I try to not think about Cancer and just act like it’s not there.,and most times I would forget about it until I would feel a pain in my left Breast,,it’s so barbaric what the doctors put you thru when you have Cancer..this is why I tried natural remedies ..I like what Anita Moorjani said about if you believe natural will work for you and you have support it will..I haven’t had a lot of support in general..maybe eventually that will change..
Finishing radiation felt amazing for the moment..but in The back of my mind I am thinking ok..what’s next? What treatment is next? I like what Anita Moorjani said about allowing..and letting go..and sometimes I think I would be ok with dying..I have thought about death since I was a teen..now being faced with it and reading the stories of others with stage 4 passing..I wonder ok when is my time..and then reading AnIta Moojani’s story about the tumors being lemon size..and how she died and came back..is a miracle..and her message how dying taught her how to live..I so relate to her story..being afraid of everything and everyone..I live a pretty lonely existence..maybe this will change..