The day in the life of a 46 yr old single woman trying to date while living with cancer..


  
So to say I am lonely..is an understatement..but the effort I have to put in to meet someone thru these dating sites..who has time for that? Maybe when I was younger..I had more patience..now I just find myself arguing with people..they don’t want to deal with real stuff..but that’s how most are..so today when I spoke with someone on one of those sites,,and he asked to meet.,and I replied well I want to chat and make friends but not looking for a hookup,,his response saying ..”I never said I want to hook up..why does everyone say that”..and he got real angry about it…so I explained my reasons for using those words,,and he still had a chip on his shoulder,,I said it wasn’t meant to offend..actually a normal guy wouldn’t have gotten upset..the fact that he did..showed me what I knew a few days ago when I contacted him.,that he is a miserable soul for whatever reason..because when I mentioned the Cancer the other day,,he said..”are you bedridden.”..basically assuming I am  on death’s door..that’s not offensive? Sheesh..then he says sorry..I said..”honey I have more life in me than you and most people.,and that I wouldn’t be on a dating site if I wasn’t up for it”..


What I am not up for is weeding thru the ones that do contact me ..who I usually have no interest in..and that’s probably why when I write most people they don’t respond because they don’t want me to think they are interested..and the ones who are interested want to find out what is wrong with me that I am on a dating site..absolutely nothing..when the only reason I am alone is because the person I was with for 8 yrs had to choose..and he had to go with his mom..I am not saying he could have stuck up for me,.because he has 2 sisters living where his mother was moving..she is closer with him and can depend on him..him and I still talk..I was angry about it and I still get hurt..but I think I made peace with it..

I don’t think I will spend too much time on the dating sites..I think I will just focus on making Susan happy and being there for my mom..my mom is 80.. And as much as I’d love her to stay here forever..yes sometimes I think…gee let’s see who goes first..although I am hopeful we both will be around for awhile,,..one thing I have learned..if someone isn’t willing to jump over a puddle for you..why should you swim thru the ocean for them..I can’t expect strangers on the Internet to care about me at this stage of the game..


Yes..if I was super lonely and changed my profile to nothing serious ..guaranteed I could meet someone tomorrow..but it wouldn’t be what I wanted..so I rather not even bother..because trying to date is worse than a job interview….I mean at least you can make money..what do you get here..aggravation and wasted time..but if I wanted to blog about it..It would make a great story..lol..which is what I always do..I share my life.,because maybe one of my posts will help one person..maybe they will think.,wow..if she can keep going..knowing that her Cancer could kill her and she literally has a ticking time bomb in her.,but I still can laugh and smile,,,although I don’t feel like I am going anywhere anytime soon..call me naive…So maybe they can keep trying too..

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “The day in the life of a 46 yr old single woman trying to date while living with cancer..

  1. It can be pretty stressful trying to date and find someone you connect with on all the important levels. ‘Making Susan happy’ can only benefit you, so that’s a good choice. Often, when you stop looking, that’s when you find something, or you may realize that you don’t really need what you were looking for in the first place. Have a lovely weekend, Susan.

    • So true,.i use to think..oh I need someone to take care of me..I don’t..or I need a guy..I don’t..usually they just cause frustration..or the world makes you feel less than..just sharing my frustration..I don’t care if I was really thin..which I am not..I am who I am and definitely not everyone’s cup of tea,,and by writing I feel close to my dad who passed 12 yrs ago..he was a writer and editor for the Walk Street Journal years ago..

      • Writing is such good therapy. A couple of years ago I was writing some fiction and it was only when I looked back on it a year, later that I realized how worried I had been about my mother’s repeated bouts of pneumonia. It’s good that you can still have that connection with your dad.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s