As I scan thru the daily personals..like scanning thru the obituaries..


  
Morbid..but kinda true.,and I keep reminding myself.,that when I get to the point that I no longer NEED someone..perhaps that’s when I will meet someone.,or maybe not..either way it’s fine..I look at the personals..and see the very little interest anyone has in me..I gave up wasting my time writing, most don’t respond ..which makes me feel worse..and most just don’t impress me,,and the interesting part is I have been on several dating sites and I see the same guys..who do they expect to meet.,Ms. Universe ..surely isn’t on there,,maybe it’s because I don’t feel at my best,,EHH just tired of the game and feeling like I have to impress anyone.,I kinda just don’t care..the old conversations.,well what do you do for a living,,and having to talk about my Cancer because they have such small brains and wouldn’t understand why a 46 yr old would be living with her mom,,well I lived on my own..for 11 yrs,,I didn’t magicaly meet a great guy..I always had to fight to keep..them and I just don’t care,,and yes from my perspective it seems easier for others ..until they get divorced..or something tragic happens..and they are alone..then..You realize the only one you can depend on is you..

maybe it is how I grew up..seeing my mom marry a man just to leave her mother.,have kids just because.,and look like a family,,than this man passes and my mom shows very little emotion,.she transfers her needs to my brother.,not in a weird way..my brother just took over the companion role of my dad..when it seems I am the only one in this family who even speaks of my dad..and him and I didn’t have the best relationship..so to say I have daddy issues is an understatement..

Who told us that we need another person to complete us..yes we all get lonely..some don’t have many friends and I am reminded of this every time I have a procedure ect..but it is ok..I no longer chase after anyone..pet sitting clients..men..friends..maybe it will make a good coffee table book or a nice blog entry as this one..maybe,,..

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s