So I feel I need to write more..


I paid for a reading yesterday..and it was filled with hope and honestly fairytale stuff..stuff that I don’t know if can happen..yes it cheered me up and I was buzzing with nice energy for a few hours..part of the reading spoke about me keeping busy and writing…I was told to write on paper and I started to..but that doesn’t seem to help..and blogging or writing on facebook seems to help more..yes on paper it’s more private..I guess I don’t care who reads this..I feel it’s ok to blog and anyway to help myself is ok..yes I can go buy a journal and probably fill it with pages and pages..but this works for me now..

I have been feeling stuck for awhile now..probably why I pay for readings,,hoping someone who was intuned and had gifts could guide in some direction..hopefully out of sorrow and a negative state..and it did help.,she mentioned about lovely things for the future and writing.,and publishing books…I asked about meeting someone for a relationship.,she mentioned in 3 yrs..and then back to the ex.,and owning two homes..yes all wonderful fabulous stuff..and I hope I live to do all this..and I try to be positive.,and I pray a lot..but I am prone to depression..and well my life is quite depressing..yes maybe there are more things I can do..so this morning I forced myself to walk nelson after seeing a frog photo on my phone from Rick..and a response to me taking a trip to Sedona..that upset me..but wasn’t meant in a negative way.,and this person has helped me greatly in the past…brought me to her home when I didn’t have a car…took me out to eat twice..gave me a book on healing Cancer ..mind ..body and soul..gave me a lovely handmade apron..sent me hand knitted hats last winter..bought some of my jewelry..and others have helped in little ways..and I am grateful for all of it..

At this moment I am trying to figure out if I need to up my Welbutrin..I sorta don’t want to because of added side effects..and the chemo and steroid has side effects..I find myself crying and feeling blue quite often and not being able to make many decisions..I was quite busy the last several weeks with pet sitting ..and I am just relaxing now..I realize that the pet sitting is too much for me..and I don’t have the money to make repairs on the car the more it is used..and these are people’s homes and pets.,I just am not in the right frame of mind if something goes wrong..I can barely take care of myself.,although it gets me out of the house and I use to bring my mom with me..it has become tougher looking after her and the animals..worrying about her falling..and she did at the one house..and she stopped going..which is for the best..right now I feel like I don’t contribute enough.,my brother works full time..and it’s just a weird place to be..so I do what I can..❤️❤️❤️

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