Archive | March 2017

Everyone’s got a story..

In my daily practice of reading..learning about others and myself..healing myself..although we are all in motion even if it doesn’t seem that way..I find myself on the Internet a lot , but reading and watching inspirational I watched several about animals in desperate situations and kind souls helped..and to me that’s inspiration to keep plugging along..One of the cats had a brain injury ..and his now owners saw him laying at rescue place and he did his best to hop and wobble over to them.,..this cat could just lay there , but knew if I go to this person I will be cared for..Maybe we all have that inner knowing inside of us..

Then there was the bearded lady story..where this girl had a hormonal problem..and had to wax her face..and she was still teased terribly and depressed..she decided to accept herself as she grew out her lady beard as she calls it..she says she still gets teased..and gets depressed..but she has learned to accept herself..and I guess that’s where my biggest struggle has been…self acceptance..leaning to accept yourself where ever you are in life..for me I have my hair it perfect..of course not..but I always had the love hate thing with my hair..face.,..maybe if I start loving and accepting myself as is..regardless if my body is over heated from different temperatures,.and I’m fighting to look presentable..and not a mess..I’m at the point ,.whatever I need to do to get out the door..which I don’t do a lot of these days..and regardless of what’s going on outside of me..I can control me ..I can’t control other people..and whether they like me..are nice..or whatever,.no one can..

I spent most of my life hanging out with people who were nice to me even sometimes not so nice to not be alone..and be with men that liked me ..and I was ok  with it..and the ones I really liked well it didn’t last long or was a fling..I’m learning being alone isn’t always a bad thing..I live with family but spend a lot of time in my room with the door open.,reading.,on the Internet..writing these days..and if I want to be with family they are there..or just hang with my dog..but right now it’s nice I can may not happen tomorrow..but when the day comes..where I no longer have a choice about getting out of bed when I please..and needing someone to assist me..although even in those times as long as your mind is still functional ..then there’s always hope..


AHH..information OVERLOAD!!!! usual I scroll thru Facebook and do research on Google..this time it was about a video on Facebook showing worms in the same dog food I feed my this morning I open up the pieces and find no bugs..I would like to either add more healthy items to his food or replace it since I know it’s not the best quality..I do give him fruits and vegetables when I eat them..

So ..I got myself so overwhelmed with all the info..I scooped out some dry food for Nelson and put the thought of changing his food aside for now..just too much for me to handle..and worry about changing..Just like I think..Hmm I’d like to make my own shampoo..soap..I probably should take one idea and work on it..instead of too many and end up doing nothing..

So..I gave myself a break..decided to write instead..I shared a quote from Rick..the man I lived with for 4 yrs and were together about 8 in total..Mind you he was doped up on a large dose of Ativan for sleep..which he needs to watch..just because a doctor prescribes it doesn’t always make it he calls me and sounded a bit drunk but he said he took an ativan..we were talking awhile..and he said..”I know you aren’t going to die anytime soo ..wanna know how I know..because when I close my eyes ..I can’t imagine a world without you in it” he didn’t intend this to be romantic..but it touched me regardless..even though he added that he has felt others not being here longer..which I guess is up to God..I just don’t know..why some survive and some don’t. I sit here..watching Nelson..looking at me..hearing my mom doing stuff in the other room…while I sit at the kitchen table looking at the African Violet ..I gave my mom for her birthday..